Nothing and Everything
by Emma Brown
Summary: What if Meredith finds out she has the gene for Alzheimer's? Something that could be, now is and Meredith and Derek deal with the news of their future. Oneshot. Possible spoilers.


Based off the preview for next weeks episode. What if Meredith finds out she has the gene for Alzheimer's? Something that could be, now is and Meredith and Derek deal with the news of their future.

Disclaimer: I don't own anything, not even a car.

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**Nothing and Everything**

Meredith had never understood the term 'deafening silence' until now. There was absolutely no noise. No crickets, no snoring, no soft breathing emitted from her sleeping husband. Even Zola was being quiet as she slept peacefully in the next room. This silence created a white noise in her ears, causing her to shake her head a few times in hopes that the silence would break and noise would exist again.

She let out a breath and nodded her head slowly. "At least now we know," she said softly. Without looking, she knew Derek was still staring at the wall across from them. The wall that housed the picture of the tumor he had drawn on the wall of her old house. When they finally moved into the house Derek had built for them, Meredith was adamant on bringing that art with them. She would never forget the night Derek drew that.

As soon as this thought entered her mind, tears sprung into her eyes without any warning. She blinked, willing them away. She would not break down. Not now. She had to remain strong. For him.

"We can prepare now," she said, trying to keep her voice level. "Take necessary precautions. It won't blindside us later."

She heard Derek take in a sharp intake of breath, yet he still remained silent. Meredith rested her hands on her swollen belly. Her little baby bean inside kicked her hand and she grinned. The moment she found out the news she had sent a silent apology to her unborn son. He didn't deserve the genes she could possibly pass down to him. He didn't deserve any of this. Neither did Zola. Neither did Derek.

"And who knows," Meredith continued weakly. "Maybe by the time I start to show signs there will be new developments in a cure. This doesn't have to be a death sentence."

_Death sentence_.

At these words Derek let out a breath. Meredith looked over at him and saw that he was frowning. It was that deep frown people had on their face when they were trying to prevent themselves from breaking down.

"I'm sorry," she whispered.

Finally, he looked at her. His eyes were wide and wet. He scanned her face. With each inch he examined of her, his walls began to crumble. Soon, he was crying and kissing her and she was crying and kissing him back.

"Don't you ever apologize for this, you understand?" he said forcibly. "We're going to get through this."

Meredith nodded as tears continued to leak from her eyes. "I don't want to forget you."

He let out a sob and closed his eyes tight. His hands were gripping onto her, holding her in such a way that it seemed he thought she would disappear any moment.

"I don't want to forget our children and our life."

"You won't," Derek said, opening his eyes and staring at Meredith intensely. "I swear to you Meredith, I will work from now until the day I die to find a cure for this disease."

"But you can't…"

"I _will_, Meredith."

She nodded and stared at the drawing on the wall again. "Promise me something, okay?"

Derek nodded as he sniffed back his remaining tears. "Anything," he said.

"Remind me of these moments. Of every moment. Every day. Don't lose hope with me. Don't send me to a home like my mom and Adele. I don't want to die in a home. I want to die in _my_ home."

"Meredith, please…"

"I know this is morbid and premature," Meredith said, her voice stronger than it had been all night. "I just want to make sure I say this. I want to make sure you know."

Derek nodded. "I know. And I won't. I will take care of you every day. I will remind you every day. I'll be around. Every day."

"Good," Meredith said, a few more tears escaping her eyes. "Good,"

Derek leaned over and kissed her. Their tears mixed together, their foreheads connected.

"I love you," Derek said.

"I know," Meredith said. "I love you,"

"I know,"

Silence. Deafening silence. Except this time Meredith didn't mind so much. It was these moments. These moments of laying in her husband's arms, feeling her baby flutter around in her stomach that she wanted to remember forever.

In the morning she would get up and do what she does every morning.

Make breakfast. Get Zola ready for the day. Get herself ready for the day. Drive with Derek to work. Drop Zola off at day-care. Save lives.

Nothing and everything would be different.

But Meredith was prepared and she knew Derek would be prepared too. Life would go on. Life _was_ going on. She would not be a stone stuck on the side of a stream and she would not allow Derek to become one either.

They would continue.

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What do you think? How about the preview? Personally, I'm freaking out but I know there are a bunch of tricks to editing. I'm not sure they would have spoiled something like that in a preview if it were true, but at this point, with this show, I believe the worst for everything.

Anyway, read and review, please. It would mean a lot.

x


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